Phenomenally feminine

I'm very happy that I am a woman despite the fact that I

1. will never be able to pee standing up (trust me i've tried)
2. will always have to work twice as hard to get the same amount of professional recognition as a man
3. cannot indulge in the same amount of casual sex as a man of my age without being labelled a slut
4. will always be under tremendous amounts of pressure to look great and my body will always be one of the first things anyone notices about me
5. will one day endure hours of pain, some sadist decided to call labour (seriously Eve, me and you need to talk, was the apple really worth it?).

Yeah, I love that I'm a woman, especially because

1. I can wear pink (of every shade) and drink those colourful, fruity cocktails in bars without everyone assuming I'm GAY

2. when I do achieve something in life, it will seem like an even bigger deal than it really is, just because I'm a woman

3. when I get aroused I don't have a built-in signal to alert the whole world

4. don't have to worry about how to pick up someone in a bar, all I have to do is sit and they come running

5. I have my own BOOBS so I don't have to spend my whole life trying to touch someone else's