The Series List

I am putting up a lists of all the shows I have watched or I'm still watching over the last three years. Not shows I watch on television, Shows I download and watch on my laptop, one season at a time, I may have forgotten a few so I will add to this list as and when I remember. please feel free to comment or start your own lists. (in no particular order)

1. prison break
2. heroes
3. 4400
4. entourage
5. bleach
6. avatar
7. war at home
8. mind your language
9. two and a half men
10. the game
11. gossip girl
12. privileged
13. fringe
14. bones
15. merlin
16. sarah conner chronicles
17. trueblood
18. 90210
19. how I met your mother
20. dark angel
21. birds of prey
22. boston legal
23. house
24. gary unmarried
25. joey
26. criminal minds
27. hustle
28. dexter
29. leverage
30. justice league
31. supernatural
32. the big bang theory
33. weeds
34. drop dead diva
35. the lost room
36. modern family
37. the class
38. fresh prince of bel-air
39. life
40. the OC
41. greek
42. brothers and sisters
43. lie to me
44. the vampire diaries
45. chuck
46. melrose place
47. the l word
48. one tree hill
49. life as we know it
50. legend of the seeker
51. burn notice
52. coupling
53. torchwood
54. kyle xy
55. scrubs
56. that 70's show
57. bionic woman
58. moonlight
59. my wife and kids
60. everbody hates chris
61. the martin lawrence show
62. friends
63. dollhouse
64. daybreak
65. jericho
66. family guy
67. boondocks
68. the mentalist
69. six feet under
70. Spartacus
71. Flash Forward
72. breaking bad
73. roomates
74. rules of engagement
75. 8 simple rules
76. the good wife
77. glee
78. united states of tara
79. Eastwick
80. Knight rider
81. Caprica
82. kings
83. accidentally on purpose
84. tudors
85. hung
86. cougartown

Reconnecting. . .

I spun round and round

As fast as I could

I searched far and wide

As far as I could

Something was lost

Of that I was sure

But how can u find something when u are not too sure what it is

Then last night I just stopped spinning and searching

I just stood still and reached out my hand and reconnected with the other half of me and finally all was well.

With love, to my friend.

I worry about you, my friend

I see you free falling and I worry. I know I feel a lot of guilt for where you are right now because I played a role in getting you there. Of course then I feel very self centred for thinking your issues have anything to do with me. But it’s not the guilt that keeps me running back to you whenever you call. At first I thought it was, but it isn’t. It’s what I see in you. Someone told me that he wished I could see in myself what he sees in me and now I want to say the same to you, my friend.

“I see such greatness in you, I always have, greatness worth working for. There are few people that I believe in as much as I believe in u, the first one is the man I love, the second one my brother from another mother and then there is you, another man I love.

This is why I come when you call, this is why I forgive you for the numerous times you let me down, this is why I will always be there for you.

So my dear friend I love you and I’m worried because I don’t think you are as in control as you think you are, and I don’t think you know how much you mean to me.”

Let's talk About Sex Baby

I had an interesting conversation with two of my favourite people yesterday and I decided to share it with y'all.

There we were, three beautiful Ghanaian girls hanging out one hot afternoon talking about everything under the sun and as it is often wont to, the conversation moved to SEX. in particular the myths surrounding sexual prowess and how true they really were. 'Simone' my gregarious fun-loving and surprising insightful friend of three years(and current resident expert on all things sexual ) gave a list of characteristics a good lover should possess, maybe u've heard a few;

for guys, great sexual ability have been linked to everything from having big feet, to dimples on his back, big hands and with girls the stories get even more outrageous if she's a big girl (especially a big busted girl) means she a nympho, long legs indicate a proficiency with more complicated positions, big behind means she's a fan of the rear entry position and the list goes on and on. now 'Becky' the self proclaimed virgin of the group (of course I don't believe her for a second) jumped right in with her own theories and we went on and on for hours until we had completely exhausted the topic for now.

as I sat there I realised several things

in the three years that we've been friends Simone, Becky and I have had several variations of this same conversation several times and it never gets old. And they are not the only friends with whom I discuss sex with, whether its about how often girls fake orgasms and why (yes sweetie, every girl fakes it at least once in her life) or why virginity is not such a big deal. it seems humans are very pre-occupied with the issue of sex and seriously I don't really understand why? I mean its great and all ( at least that's what I hear) but must we obsess over it so much.

that there can't really be any truth to all these tales about the keys to great sexual prowess, can there? and also what exactly does it mean to say someone is good in bed.

a lot of people have hang ups about homosexuality but are totally cool with lesbianism, seriously they are one and the same so make up your mind. personally I believe to each his own, what ever floats your boat, sister.

and finally when I have kids I hope I establish a strong enough relationship with them that they can come to me with any questions they have about sex, because I realised today that I know a lot about sex, I have no idea when I realised that the stork did not bring babies and that sex was well sex but I know I learnt none of what I know from my parents.

the end of an era.

its the end of the semester and as I pack up my things to go home I take a minute to analyse the semester. it was a very different semester and I discovered more about myself this semester, than in all the years I have spent in this university combined.

I made new friends and reconnected with some old ones.

I tried new things and though some of them I'll never try again, some I don't think I can give up.

I realised that I'm not an entirely good person but, hey! I'm not so bad after all.

when I came to school this semester I was determined to do a lot of things and though I managed to do some, there's a lot I failed to achieve and even more I realised was not as important as I thought it was.

I have grown and evolved. there are some things I've lost that I wish I could get back , but despite it all this has been a entirely different kind of semester, and I can't conclusively say that it was a horrible semester or a great one it certainly was a unique one.

FEAR OF THE KNOWN

All your life you wanted to try something, you felt you would be great at it.

Then the time comes and you get to do it and unlike in the movies you aren’t a natural, in actual fact you were horrible.

This has happened to me several times and now the time looms yet again. It’s understandable that I’m scared isn’t it? Is it cowardice to fear certain failure? As I embark on this journey all I want to say is I’m scared.

A reason to write

I started this blog so I could have an anonymous audience with which to go on and on about my favourite topic ... Me. My consistency or lack thereof in posting has been evidence of the fact that this is my emotional sounding board. Recently I have been suffering from writers’ block and despite the emotional turmoil in my life I couldn’t put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard as the case maybe. Then you told me you read my blog and like my writing. You told me that I had inspired you to write and became my inspiration. I thought I wanted an anonymous audience but I discovered I like knowing that someone out there actually thinks I’m worth reading. So thank you my fan and all of you who read my blog. You gave me a reason to write.

stop this world from spinning

There comes a time when it feels like everything in your life is moving way too fast and you wish it would all just STOP!!!!!!

You want a moment where everything just stands still, and you get to just 'be'.

A moment when you didn't have to feel or think, act or react.

You could just stop close your eyes, take a deep breathe and just exist and all your problems would just fade away for a time,

But even with your eyes closed your mind can't stop reeling and the world just won't stop spinning

All is fair in Love and War II

Is it fair to ask someone to give up everything for you when

• · u have no intention of doing the same
• · that person has not even asked you to

Is it fair to get mad when that person is up front about your place in their lives? Is it immature to be upset about being the other woman when that’s the position available for the other person in your life?

Human relationships are so complex and diverse; in my new position as an observer of human nature( due to my sudden abundance of free time) I have realised there are no absolutes in life, “good” people do bad things and “bad” people love with all their hearts. So maybe we should never ask or expect more from others than we do from ourselves....

ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR

Heartbreak is a fascinating phenomenon

It affects one party so significantly

And yet the other is left completely unscathed . . .

Confused

I'm so confused,

I could trust my feelings

but that would mean I have made a fundamental mistake

that would mean I'm not as good a judge of character as I've always believed

I'm so confused,

when I enter I feel the glare

when I turn I spy the smirk

I could trust my feelings and stop before I lose all pride

I could ignore it all and experience something wonderful

but what if my feelings are right,

what if it is not paranoia but justifiable apprehension

I'm so confused . . .

PSYCH !

The call woke me up at dawn, ok it was more like 8am but when you just went to bed four hours ago it feels like dawn. Anyway, the voice over the phone (it was way too early for me to wrap me head around who the voice belonged to, so I still don’t who messed up my sleep) informed me that my 5pm class had been moved up to 1:30.

They say bad news comes in pairs, just as I dragged myself to the bathroom to wake myself up a cold shower; another call, this time to inform me of a hitherto unknown assignment to be submitted at none other than the newly established 1:30 class.

At this point realising that my wonderfully scheduled day had gone up in flames I dedicated the rest of my day to preparing an assignment I was a 100% sure was never given ( kids, here’s some free advice; never follow the crowd, do only what YOU believe is right).

Now this is where it gets frustrating and annoying, I go for the class with my neatly typed and printed assignment, the lecturer (about whom I’ll reserve all comments after all anyone could be reading even you, Mr...)

• · mentions the assignment; insists he gave it to as last week to be submitted this week
• · states that due to low level of attendance, the lecture will be replaced with a tutorial session
• · then he goes ahead and has a lecture anyway

at this point the lack of sleep and extensive use of my brain too early in the day, combined with my lecturer’s confusing actions means I sat through a 2 hour lecture and left the class no wiser in the law.

Then, this distinguished lecturer leaves the class without collecting the assignment I spent all morning labouring over (and threw all my plans for the day [mainly sleeping but hey! sleep is important] out the window to complete on time) but not before he gives another assignment.

All in all today was a lovely day, don’t you agree?

Worlds Apart?

I tried to reconnect with a long lost friend yesterday. When we were in boarding school we were inseparable, then we graduated and she left the country for University. Initially we kept in touch, we called each other, texted, sent mail . . . but over the course of four years that just kind of faded out. Now we have drifted so far apart. This is a girl I could tell everything but now the conversation was stilted and awkward. We had virtually nothing in common anymore, and though this is someone I haven’t seen or spoken to in ages, upon the realisation that I had lost a very good friend (there will be several chapters dedicated to our complex and engaging relationship in my autobiography) the pain was surprisingly intense.

As I mourned the loss of a Great Friend, I’ll take this opportunity celebrate the Great Friends these four years in university have yielded me . . . I LOVE Y’ALL SO MUCH, EVEN WHEN I DON’T SHOW IT!

At Loose Ends

Today was spent doing what I seem to spend all my time doing nowadays; which is absolutely nothing.

I see everyone going about their day with purpose and focus; my schedule for the day is depressingly empty.

I never thought I would say this but having so much free time is slowly driving me insane.

It doesn’t help that apart from having nothing to do, I am alone.

Basically I have all this time to spend with only myself, surrounded by couples with so much to do that they have very little time for their lonely friend with too much time on her hands.

This is an urgent, desperate appeal; someone please help me before I jump off a building; At least then I'll have something to do. . .

Phenomenally feminine

I'm very happy that I am a woman despite the fact that I

1. will never be able to pee standing up (trust me i've tried)
2. will always have to work twice as hard to get the same amount of professional recognition as a man
3. cannot indulge in the same amount of casual sex as a man of my age without being labelled a slut
4. will always be under tremendous amounts of pressure to look great and my body will always be one of the first things anyone notices about me
5. will one day endure hours of pain, some sadist decided to call labour (seriously Eve, me and you need to talk, was the apple really worth it?).

Yeah, I love that I'm a woman, especially because

1. I can wear pink (of every shade) and drink those colourful, fruity cocktails in bars without everyone assuming I'm GAY

2. when I do achieve something in life, it will seem like an even bigger deal than it really is, just because I'm a woman

3. when I get aroused I don't have a built-in signal to alert the whole world

4. don't have to worry about how to pick up someone in a bar, all I have to do is sit and they come running

5. I have my own BOOBS so I don't have to spend my whole life trying to touch someone else's

RADICAL HONESTY

I spent last night watching a show (instead of studying for mid semester exams) called "lie to me", and in it there is a guy that practises radical honesty. He never lies; not even by omission.

ALL TRUTH ALL THE TIME.

I was impressed and thought about how simpler life would be if we took a page out of his book and gave radical honesty a try. Hey the truth is supposed to set you free, isn't it?

But what about the person who hears the truth, how free that is make him or her? Not all lies are told maliciously, there are the little white lies we tell to spare someone's feelings , or to be polite, the stuff we don't say because they are unnecessary; I mean do you really have to tell your mother that her favourite dress makes her look fat, or your girlfriend that last Christmas you got drunk and made out with a random girl you will probably never see again, or your husband that he doesn't even make the list of the top ten lovers you have ever had?

I guess, all I really want to know is; is the freedom we get from telling the truth worth the pain we might cause; does radical truth really simplify life or is it just an excuse to be a selfish, rude, in considerate but truthful person?

ROOFTOP

I went up there for a little air,

and found so much more

I found a friend with a ready ear;

He actually just listened,none of the judgement I fear

Such simple things should be easy to find

but surprisingly, amazingly they're not.

So thank you my friend,

for a wonderful night.

And I hope someday,

We'll be together again

Just sitting and talking . . . on my Rooftop.

HAVE STRAIGHTNER; WILL TRAVEL!

LONG, SILKY, HEALTHY HAIR, the mark of beauty in a female ( I was recently informed by a classmate of mine: a boy).

This got me thinking, I have a knack for helping others attain this ideal BUT personally I have been cursed with hair that refuses to grow past chin length.

In my usual pragmatic fashion, (yeah right) I have decided to stop moaning my own mane management issues and dedicate myself to the admirable goal of aiding my sisters in their bid to achieve long, silky, healthy hair, and hope that the gods of the tresses will see my good deeds and reward me accordingly.

But until my gift from the gods arrives I will stick to my refrain

"Oh! I like my hair at this length so I keep cutting it, I have no idea how to manage long hair ( like I couldn't learn)"

and occasionally escape from my reality with the help of other people's hair.

What makes a girl cheat on her Man?

Some people say a girl only cheats cuz she loves the new man more...... I say that nothing is ever black or white just shades of gray.

Someone once said to me

"I love a Man with all my heart, but I know another that can make me smile, and yet another that can make me soooooo MAD and yet I always forgive him, another reminds me of my lover and eases my loneliness when my lover is absent, yet still another has a body that makes me drool, and another gives me the kind of attention and care that cannot be ignored, and even a Woman who opens up worlds I never knew existed, so what that I have a Man I love with all my heart. Are there not different kinds of love and can I not feel them all for different people?"

I don't know what You would say to my friend but my answer is this:

Love is a commitment and a choice. You may fall in love with someone without intending to, but it's a choice to stay in love with that person and honour that commitment. So why sully that commitment by cheating on the one you love and then try to justify it by saying that there are different kinds of love...... Yes! There are different kinds and DEGREES of love, you love everyone differently and in the same vein the amount of feeling you have will differ from person to person ; some you will love deeply, others you will not love at all; So instead of spreading pieces of yourself and your love among different people why don't you give ALL of your love and yourself to the one person who truly loves you back and stick to the choice you made, for better or for worse.................

TORTURED

The room was well lit yet i got the same feeling one gets in a horror flick, just before the scary, bloodthirsty killer jumps out from behind the hero and saws him in half.

Then HE walks up to me and the torture begins .................

Up and Down, Left and Right, Side to Side

till every bone in my body aches

and every muscle burns with pain

this is pure torture and i willingly submitted to it

can i plead temporary insanity

i would give anything for some relief

and promise on all i hold dear that i will not consume another morsel if it will save me from another day at the gym................

UNDERTAKING

i promised myself that in 2009 i would turn over a new leaf;

• i would lose weight sensibly by undergoing a lifestyle change; i.e. healthy diet and exercise not drugs and starvation
• i would be a better daughter and sister, cuz i have a lovely family and they deserve better
• i would also be a better friend cuz let's face it i was a pretty crappy friend in the preceding years
• i would be disciplined and principled, work harder to achieve what i want in life instead of waiting for it to be handed to me (which it never is)

and several more resolutions to that effect.

Today i realized that it is October, two months to the end of the year and

• if any change has occcured with regards to my body size, then i have gained weight
• my family love me a lot, but it is not due to any special efforts on my part i guess they realize they are stuck with me so they gotta love me
• what few friends i had left i lost due to 'my lovely nature'
• and as for the discipline and principles; well seriously do i have to spell it out for you

i guess i better pray to God that i live to meet 2010 so i can try all over again....

The Diet Diaries- entry 1

Tomorrow I will embark on a journey to thinness

I will count calories

I will watch weight

till i'm but a sleek svelte size six.

I will run; I will walk

I will throw up; I will fast

till i'm nothing but a shadow of my former fat self

BUT remember i said......TOMORROW

the first day of the rest of my life

On the first day

of the first month

of the second half of the year, I woke up optimistic.

I made a vow on January 1st and finally I was going to keep it.

I would on all the things i felt were wrong with me;

physically, mentally, emotionally and socially.

I was going to turn my life around

and though more than 24 hours later i am yet to start on my metamorphosis

I do not hesitate to state that

1st july 2009 was the first day of the rest of my life..........

the salon

i heard somewhere that in the service industry the customer is always right. obviously the stylists at the salon i visited yesterday have never heard this particular nugget of wisdom. i was ignored, until desperation drove me to overcome my innate shyness in these female havens of beauty, to inquire about when i would be attended to. this was perhaps my worst idea ever for never have i had to deal with such rudeness, i started to wonder who would be paying who at the end of this transaction. or maybe they were students of the school of thought which hold the view that the snobbier the attendants are then the higher the class or status of the organisation. obviously a lot of people must hold this view course despite their rudeness they didnot seem to lack customers.

speakin' freely

all my life, i've dreamed of a friend in whom i could place all my trust, i could tell her anything with no repercussions or reprimands, she would just listen, and smile i could tell her about all who wronged me and who i have wronged and how truly sorry i was, i could tell her all the evil i thought and all the evil i wrought and she would not runaway screaming bloody murder. i could be myself and not be scared that maybe i wasn't worth very much once i truly was myself. i could put down the shield i hold against the rest of the world because it truly weighs a ton. whenever i felt i had found such a friend i realised she was not the one. till now that is. i've found the one, my new found friend, the world at large.